10 Reasons Why Oregon Spring Football is Better Than Sex
Spring is in the air, and you know what that means.
It means it’s time for us to take our main squeeze by the hand, stroll on down to the park, lay out a blanket, and engage in our favorite pastime.
Alright, alright, get your head out of the gutter, we’re talking about Oregon Ducks spring football!
And here are ten reasons why Oregon spring football is better than whatever it was you were thinking about:
10. Overthrown balls don’t hurt as much.
9. It’s not as humiliating to come up inches short.
8. When a player finally comes into his own, it’s not nearly as messy.
7. Autzen Stadium rules do not allow for smoking after a score.
6. Come-from-behind victories can be much more thrilling.
5. Ducks football has never, ever, had a headache.
4. Between whistles, foghorns, the marching band, and bad calls — there’s a lot of blowing going on.
3. Although there are four periods in a Ducks football game, no one has ever gotten pissed off at me because of them.
2. When a player scores, he’s not the only one who is happy about it.
1. And the No. 1 reason why Oregon spring football is better than sex: after such a long off-season, Ducks football can never come too soon!
Abbie, the FishDuck Mascot
Top Photo by Kevin Cline