1 ) DUCKS UNLIMITED IS TO DUCKS AS …
- a butcher shop is to hogs.
- a glue factory is to horses.
- a Korean restaurant is to dogs.
2 ) PUDDLES IS BEST KNOWN FOR …
- being androgynous.
- push up prowess.
- goosing Lee Corso.
Fabulous!
3 ) WHICH COACHING STAFF HAS THE BEST HANDLE ON THE DUCKS OFFENSE?
- UCF
- the 49ers
- NEBRASKA
4 ) THE DUCKS ARE PLAYING UC DAVIS BECAUSE …
- Mike Bellotti played there.
- Mike Bellotti coached there.
- PORTLAND ST is too good.
- LINFIELD COLLEGE did not have an open date.
5 ) IN THE 2nd HALF OF THE ALAMO BOWL THE OREGON COACHING STAFF RELIED UPON …
Really guys?
- the Mike Leach School of Clock Management.
- the Sonny Dykes School of Play Calling.
- The FAB FIVE School of Time Out Management.
- the Dabo Swinney School of Special Teams Management.
- All of the above
6 ) TRUE or FALSE
If Puddles hooked up with Daisy, Donald would go Goofy.
7) IN THE 2nd HALF OF THE ALAMO BOWL …
- Puddles arms atrophied.
- Frogs got horny.
- the Ducks’ center thought he was playing on a putting green.
8 ) WHO WOULD BE ODDS ON TO WIN A PUSH UP CONTEST?
No contest. Puddles has this.
- Chris Berman
- Hillary Clinton
- Stephen Hawking
- Puddles
9 ) THERE IS AN NCAA RULE THAT SAYS …
- Duck QBs are not allowed to take a snap from under center.
- Royce Freeman must be saved for golf season.
- Ducks LBs must take classes at the U of Juarez Matador School.
Under where?
10 ) THE MOST HERCULEAN TASK IS …
Good luck, coach!
- President Obama bringing peace to the middle east.
- staying horny enough to keep up with the Kardashians.
- Brady Hoke’s attempt to repair a screen door on a submarine.
11 ) SEEING WHERE THE DUCKS DEFENSE FINISHED NATIONALLY, OREGON SHOULD …
- drop the D from Ducks.
- drop the D and replace it with an S.
- drop the D and replace it with Schm.
BUT SERIOUSLY DUCKS FANS!!!!!!!
Hats off to the Oregon coaches and players for:
Going 9-4 after losing the Heisman winning QB and battling numerous injuries to key players;
Refusing to quit (especially Doug Brenner and Jeff Lockie) and taking TCU into a 3rd OT;
For the D (especially the secondary) showing consistent improvement under coach Pellum;
For having the guts in 2016 to schedule 2 Power 5 teams out of conference; and
Sustaining a decade of excellence.
Can’t wait for Spring Ball and teeing it up vs UC Davis!
GO YOU FIGHTING DUCKS!!
Top Photo by Kevin Cline
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Jon Joseph grew up in Boston, Massachusetts but has been blessed to have lived long enough in the west to have exorcised all east coast bias. He played football in college and has passionately followed the game for seven decades. A retired corporate attorney Jon has lectured across the country and published numerous articles on banking and gaming law. Now a resident of Aiken South Carolina, Jon follows college football across the nation with a focus on the Conference of Champions and the Ducks.