10 Reasons Why Oregon Spring Football is Better Than Sex

Abbie -The FishDuck.com Mascot Humor

Spring is in the air, and you know what that means.

It means it’s time for us to take our main squeeze by the hand, stroll on down to the park, lay out a blanket, and engage in our favorite pastime.

Alright, alright, get your head out of the gutter, we’re talking about Oregon Ducks Spring Football!

And here are ten reasons why Oregon Spring Football is better than whatever you were thinking about:

Wait…Wait…Wait a minute!

10.  Overthrown balls don’t hurt as much.

Really? That makes a difference?

9.  It’s not as humiliating to come up inches short.

Oh yeah! I’m bad!

8.  When a player finally comes into his own, it’s not nearly as messy.

Please…not now

7.  Autzen Stadium rules do not allow for smoking after a score.

Wahooo…!

6.  Come-from-behind victories can be much more thrilling.

Puhleeze…can’t you see?

5.  Ducks Spring Football has never, ever, had a headache.

It’s an O….really!

4.  Between whistles, foghorns, the marching band, and bad calls — there is a lot of blowing going on.

I can see you would like to be alone…

3.  Although there are four periods in a Ducks football game, no one has ever gotten pissed off at me because of them.

Some college traditions just don’t go away…

2.  When a player scores, he’s not the only one who is happy about it.

It’s finally herrrreee…!

1.  And the No. 1 reason why Oregon Spring Football is better than sex? After such a long off-season, Ducks football can never come too soon!

Abbie, the FishDuck Mascot
Eugene, Oregon
Top Photo by Kevin Cline

New 2024 FishDuck Publishing Schedule….

During the off-season the FishDuck.com publishing schedule will consist of articles on Mondays and Tuesdays. Do keep checking as new articles could be published during the week when a writer has something to say.

In mid-August of 2024, we will go back to the seven-days-a-week of articles during the football season as we did in the football season of 2023.

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