10 Reasons Why Oregon Spring Football is Better Than Sex

FishDuck Staff Humor 4 Comments

Spring is in the air, and you know what that means.

It means it’s time for us to take our main squeeze by the hand, stroll on down to the park, lay out a blanket, and engage in our favorite pastime.

Alright, alright, get your head out of the gutter, we’re talking about Oregon Ducks spring football!

And here are ten reasons why Oregon spring football is better than whatever it was you were thinking about:

Gary Breedlove

Wait…Wait…Wait a minute!

10.  Overthrown balls don’t hurt as much.

 

Wikimedia

Really? That makes a difference?

9.  It’s not as humiliating to come up inches short.

 

John Sperry

Oh yeah! I’m bad!

8.  When a player finally comes into his own, it’s not nearly as messy.

 

Pexels.com

Please…not now

7.  Autzen Stadium rules do not allow for smoking after a score.

 

Tom Corno

Wahooo…!

6.  Come-from-behind victories can be much more thrilling.

 

mislav mahronic

Puhleeze…can’t you see?

5.  Ducks football has never, ever, had a headache.

 

Kevin Cline

It’s an O….really!

4.  Between whistles, foghorns, the marching band, and bad calls — there’s a lot of blowing going on.

 

Pexels.com

I can see you would like to be alone…

3.  Although there are four periods in a Ducks football game, no one has ever gotten pissed off at me because of them.

 

Kevin Cline

Some college traditions just don’t go away…

2.  When a player scores, he’s not the only one who is happy about it.

 

the Atlantic

It’s finally herrrreee…!

1.  And the No. 1 reason why Oregon spring football is better than sex: after such a long off-season, Ducks football can never come too soon!

Abbie, the FishDuck Mascot
Eugene, Oregon

Top Photo by Kevin Cline

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