March 17th was Saint Patrick’s Day, and unfortunately many of us were already holed up and unable to celebrate. However, in the spirit of that holiday and this green month of March, it seemed good to me (especially since my wife is Irish!) to offer my contribution in the form of Duck-themed limericks. The limerick is generally accepted to have its roots in County Limerick, Ireland.
Below are eleven limericks, one for each of the eleven players on the field. (Writer’s suggestion: this column is best paired with a draught Guinness.)
Slainte Mhaith!
Eleven Players, Eleven Limericks
To The League he has flown.
Justin Herbert to The League he has flown,
And his successor will soon become known.
This quarterback Duck,
Will probably be Shough,
Since his skill-set he certainly has shown.
Coach Joe has the offense well planned,
Eleven personnel to not tip his hand.
So the defense won’t know,
Where the ball’s gonna go,
Until in the end-zone it lands.
He has mastered the sly RPO,
Will the quarter back run? Will he throw?
Linebackers suffering fitses,
Cuz Joe’s wrecking their blitzes,
And setting the scoreboard aglow.
In the past we Ducks raved ’bout “Gang Green”,
As the best “D” that we’ve ever seen.
But Coach A doesn’t slack,
Put a roar in our quack,
Now our defense is pretty damned mean.
Coach A has built a “pretty damned mean” defense.
The D-line anchored by “Fat Mac,”
Slows down their passing attack.
With the pocket collapsing,
Their quarterback gasping,
“Thibs” garners another clean sack.
And with “Thibs” we’ll be counting to ten,
Only question being what game, and when.
The number’s no doubt,
‘Cuz he’s figured it out,
Dude’s doing it again and again.
The corners are sewn-up, locked down.
With two of the best CBs around.
Thomas Graham and Lenoir,
Are away and by far,
The scariest duo in town.
Yes, the secondary is nothing at to sneeze,
With ball-hawking safety Brady Breeze.
Add Holland in there,
And there will be nowhere,
That a quarterback can throw as he please.
Holland anchors a ball-hawking secondary.
On the O-line Penei has no peer,
As the Outland committee made clear.
He bulldozes opponents,
Into small junk components,
Making all of the Auzten crowd cheer.
JJ3 had a helluva breakout year.
Became a threat that defenders did fear.
He caught it reliably,
Long yardage undeniably.
Without question he found a new gear.
And this collection would be incomplete.
Were Coach Mario not given a seat.
Under his supervision,
It seems all but given
That as Pac-12 Champions we’ll repeat.
Lou Farnsworth
Fontana, CA
Top Photo: Eugene Johnson
Andrew Mueller, the FishDuck.com Volunteer Editor for this article, works in digital marketing in Chicago, Illinois.
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Lou was raised in Eugene. He moved there in 1959, at the age of nine, when his father joined the faculty at the U of O. The first Duck football game that he can remember occurred at Hayward field: a 1963 loss to San Jose State. After serving in the Army from 1968-70, he returned to Eugene, worked in the woods for a few years; and then eventually earned a degree in Mathematics Education from the U of O in 1976. For the past 43 years he has taught secondary mathematics, mostly in southern California. He lives there with Shawn, his wife of 37 years, who is also an Oregon alum. Together they have two sons and a daughter. He retired in June of 2019. When Shawn retires in June of 2021 they will be moving to Pueblo, Colorado.