The 12 Days of Beavis

Kim Hastings Humor

I am a great believer in Thanksgiving. And why wouldn’t I be? It is the only holiday dedicated to life’s three primary joys, food, family, and football. Ah, the memories. Who can forget the year that your sister brandished a turkey leg at you until you changed the television from Bears/Lions to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade? Your sister: Not an Eric Hipple fan.

Sadly, my favorite holiday has been overrun by all things Christmas. As if 25+ days aren’t enough for Yuletide glee, Christmas has over-run the month of November and is advancing against October. Do you think I’m exaggerating? Each year I keep track of the year’s first Christmas ad on TV and when it first aired.

The above ad was both a little creepy and aired THREE DAYS BEFORE HALLOWEEN!

So, I give up. If Christmas, as far as the eye can see, is the way it is, I offer the following little ditty in honor of our unfortunate friends, the unwashed adherents to Oregon State football.

On the first day of Christmas, my Beav, I give to thee, a Duck fan who lost a bet. (above)

Trust me Ducks–it could be a lot worse…

(above) On the second day of Christmas, my Beav, I give to thee two sad Beavs and a Duck fan who lost a bet.

(above) On the third day of Christmas, my Beav I give to thee, a life of OSU angst, two sad Beavs, and a Duck fan who lost a bet.

You oughta see his ring…

On the fourth day of Christmas, my Beav I give to thee, Beaver fine jewelry, a life of OSU angst, two sad Beavs, and a Duck fan who lost a bet. (above)
——————————————————————————————–
The Our Beloved Ducks Forum is BACK! Come get the links to Oregon Sports articles, the press releases from the Oregon Athletic Department and the news from your fellow Duck fans. It is the only safe place on the web for Duck Discussion, such as today’s article, so join us over there!
——————————————————————————————–

(above) On the fifth day of Christmas, my Beav I give to thee, A stiff arm, to…the…chops!

On the sixth day of Christmas my Beav I give to thee, two six-packs downed too quickly, a stiff arm to the chops, Beaver fine jewelry, a life of OSU angst, two sad Beavs, and a Duck fan who lost a bet. (above)

On the seventh day of Christmas my Beav I give to thee, my prediction for this game, two six-packs downed too quickly, a stiff arm to the chops, Beaver fine jewelry, a life of OSU angst, two sad Beavs, and a Duck fan who lost a bet.

They didn’t win, but the Beavers beat the spread against New Mexico.

(above) On the eighth day of Christmas my Beav I give to thee, the Beavers beat the spread, my prediction for this game, two six-packs downed too quickly, a stiff arm to the chops, Beaver fine jewelry, a life of OSU angst, two sad Beavs, and a Duck fan who lost a bet.

(above) On the ninth day of Christmas my Beav I give to thee, a Beaver’s SAT score, the Beavers beat the spread, my prediction for this game, two six-packs downed too quickly, a stiff arm to the chops, Beaver fine jewelry, a life of OSU angst, two sad Beavs, and a Duck fan who lost a bet.

On the tenth day of Christmas my Beav I give to thee, THE Real OSU, a Beaver’s SAT score, the Beavers beat the spread, my prediction for this game, two six-packs downed too quickly, a stiff arm to the chops, Beaver fine jewelry, a life of OSU angst, two sad Beavs, and a Duck fan who lost a bet.

(above) On the 11th day of Christmas my Beav I give to thee, a Beaver slits his throat, THE Real OSU, a Beaver’s SAT score, the Beavers beat the spread, my prediction for this game, two six-packs downed too quickly, a stiff arm to the chops, Beaver fine jewelry, a life of OSU angst, two sad Beavs, and a Duck fan who lost a bet.

On the 12th day of Christmas my Beav I give to thee, the best (worst) Beaver uni, a Beaver slits his throat, THE OSU, a Beaver’s SAT score, the Beavers beat the spread, my prediction for this game, two six-packs downed too quickly, a stiff arm to the chops, Beaver fine jewelry, a life of OSU angst, two sad Beavs, and a Duck fan who lost a bet.

Go Ducks! We have some seriously bad taste to wash out of our mouths.

Kim Hastings
Tacoma, Washington
Top Photo by Kevin Cline

Come join us in the new Our Beloved Ducks Forum, where you get the news about Oregon Sports and is the safest place on the web to read and post your opinions!

For the Exciting 2024 Football Season….

We will be publishing between four and six articles per week during the football season, as we skip Saturdays with all the distraction of GameDay for us. Check through the week, and in particular check for Analysis articles on most Fridays.

The Our Beloved Ducks Forum (OBD) is where we we discuss the article above and many more topics, as it is so much easier in a message board format over there.  At the free OBD forum we will be posting Oregon Sports article links, the daily Press Releases from the Athletic Department and the news coming out every day.

Our 33 rules at the free OBD Forum can be summarized to this: 1) be polite and respectful, 2) do not tell anyone what to think, feel or write, and 3) no reference of any kind to politics. Easy-peasy!

OBD Forum members….we got your back.  No Trolls Allowed!