I am a great believer in Thanksgiving. And why wouldn’t I be? It is the only holiday dedicated to life’s three primary joys, food, family, and football. Ah, the memories. Who can forget the year that your sister brandished a turkey leg at you until you changed the television from Bears/Lions to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade? Your sister: Not an Eric Hipple fan.
Sadly, my favorite holiday has been overrun by all things Christmas. As if 25+ days aren’t enough for Yuletide glee, Christmas has over-run the month of November and is advancing against October. Do you think I’m exaggerating? Each year I keep track of the year’s first Christmas ad on TV and when it first aired.
The above ad was both a little creepy and aired THREE DAYS BEFORE HALLOWEEN!
So, I give up. If Christmas, as far as the eye can see, is the way it is, I offer the following little ditty in honor of our unfortunate friends, the unwashed adherents to Oregon State football.
On the first day of Christmas, my Beav, I give to thee, a Duck fan who lost a bet. (above)
Trust me Ducks–it could be a lot worse…
(above) On the second day of Christmas, my Beav, I give to thee two sad Beavs and a Duck fan who lost a bet.
(above) On the third day of Christmas, my Beav I give to thee, a life of OSU angst, two sad Beavs, and a Duck fan who lost a bet.
You oughta see his ring…
On the fourth day of Christmas, my Beav I give to thee, Beaver fine jewelry, a life of OSU angst, two sad Beavs, and a Duck fan who lost a bet. (above)
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(above) On the fifth day of Christmas, my Beav I give to thee, A stiff arm, to…the…chops!
On the sixth day of Christmas my Beav I give to thee, two six-packs downed too quickly, a stiff arm to the chops, Beaver fine jewelry, a life of OSU angst, two sad Beavs, and a Duck fan who lost a bet. (above)
On the seventh day of Christmas my Beav I give to thee, my prediction for this game, two six-packs downed too quickly, a stiff arm to the chops, Beaver fine jewelry, a life of OSU angst, two sad Beavs, and a Duck fan who lost a bet.
They didn’t win, but the Beavers beat the spread against New Mexico.
(above) On the eighth day of Christmas my Beav I give to thee, the Beavers beat the spread, my prediction for this game, two six-packs downed too quickly, a stiff arm to the chops, Beaver fine jewelry, a life of OSU angst, two sad Beavs, and a Duck fan who lost a bet.
(above) On the ninth day of Christmas my Beav I give to thee, a Beaver’s SAT score, the Beavers beat the spread, my prediction for this game, two six-packs downed too quickly, a stiff arm to the chops, Beaver fine jewelry, a life of OSU angst, two sad Beavs, and a Duck fan who lost a bet.
On the tenth day of Christmas my Beav I give to thee, THE Real OSU, a Beaver’s SAT score, the Beavers beat the spread, my prediction for this game, two six-packs downed too quickly, a stiff arm to the chops, Beaver fine jewelry, a life of OSU angst, two sad Beavs, and a Duck fan who lost a bet.
(above) On the 11th day of Christmas my Beav I give to thee, a Beaver slits his throat, THE Real OSU, a Beaver’s SAT score, the Beavers beat the spread, my prediction for this game, two six-packs downed too quickly, a stiff arm to the chops, Beaver fine jewelry, a life of OSU angst, two sad Beavs, and a Duck fan who lost a bet.
On the 12th day of Christmas my Beav I give to thee, the best (worst) Beaver uni, a Beaver slits his throat, THE OSU, a Beaver’s SAT score, the Beavers beat the spread, my prediction for this game, two six-packs downed too quickly, a stiff arm to the chops, Beaver fine jewelry, a life of OSU angst, two sad Beavs, and a Duck fan who lost a bet.
Go Ducks! We have some seriously bad taste to wash out of our mouths.
Kim Hastings
Tacoma, Washington
Top Photo by Kevin Cline
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Kim Hastings is a 1984 graduate of Northwest Christian College. He cut his journalistic teeth as sports editor of a paper in his home town of Fortuna, CA, and, later as a columnist for the Longview Daily News in Longview, WA.
He saw his first Oregon game in 1977 and never missed a home game from 1981 until a bout with pneumonia cut his streak short in 1997. He was one of the proud 3200 on a bitterly cold night in Shreveport, Louisiana in 1989 for the Independence Bowl, and continues to be big supporter of Oregon sports. He is an active participant on the various Oregon Ducks messageboards as “TacomaDuck.”
