8 Reasons Why College Football Is the Greatest Sport of Them All

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

This is the week that we have all been waiting for. At the end of last season the Ducks summarily ushered Mack Brown out the door with a swift kick in the rear and the parting words “Next time bring a passing game.” Since that night, Oregon fans have been looking forward to the next season to finally get here. Well, …

2014 Predictions — Part Three

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

Good morning, Ducks! Last Saturday I brought you Part One of my Super Accurate 2014 predictions for the upcoming football season. Part Two was available to subscribers only. If you want to subscribe, my PayPal information is available. Subscribers get inside information on my predictions as well as fun, behind the scenes looks at my life. A look inside the …

2014 Predictions — Part One

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

Boys and girls, fall camp has begun in the world of college football. This starts the official countdown until footballs are kicked off of tees and soccer is kicked back to Telemundo. Your friends at FishDuck.com have been hard at work consulting with the finest and the most brilliant minds in college football … We are here to bring you predictions …

The Decline and Fall of the Trojan Empire

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

It seems like such a short time ago. The very name “USC” brought about a sense of awe. Many of us liked to say the whole thing without shortening it – ”The University of Southern California.” They were who we wanted to be – a perennial power. The top of the college football world. They played in “The Coliseum.” No need for …

Northwest Schools to Introduce New Fight Songs!

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

Did you hear the news? Due to the flap over the Washington Redskins’ moniker and the onrush of political correctness everywhere, all major college programs are going to be assigned new fight songs. No longer will the U-Dub band be allowed to play “Tequila.”  Washington State won’t be able to play “Fight, Fight, Fight, for Washington State.”  OSU won’t be able …

Welcome to the 2014 FISHIES

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. That’s why FishDuck.com was so pleased when ESPN scheduled the ESPYs during the same week as our more prestigious award show. FishDuck.com’s crack staff and stable of high quality production assistants … … looked through the last year of sports highlights to find the best and the brightest. Then we remembered …

I’m Broke! Should I Be a Beaver?

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

I’m broke. I won’t always be broke. It’s a temporary condition due to spending too much on my own birthday and the fact that my stock options with FishDuck (FKU:NYSE) and 401k don’t vest for another year. But being broke, for no matter how long, makes one wonder, “Did I go wrong in my life? Should I have made better …

FishDuck Reads the Declaration of Independence

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

A group of  rich white men banded together because they didn’t want to pay taxes. No, not just recently. I’m talking about 238 years ago at the time of the American Revolution. The end result of that decision — which, if you’ve ever walked the Freedom Trail in Boston you know, was mostly arrived at in taverns — was the beginning of …

Redskins! Right, Wrong or Do We Care?

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

Once in a while I put the twisted mind that I usually display to you folks in the closet for a week to talk about an issue that has lately come across the cultural dashboard. With the removal of the federal trademark by the U. S. Patent Office, the future of the name “Washington Redskins” is up for grabs like …

A Twisted History of Sports Traditions

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

Sports fans love a good tradition. Everything from singing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” during the 7th-inning stretch to “Gentlemen Start Your Engines” at the beginning of the Indy 500. We love them all. At least, we love most of them. Here are some of the stranger traditions that dot the sports landscapes, as well as a couple that …

Things I Would Rather Do Than Watch the World Cup

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

Biggest sporting event in the world! Dwarfing the Super Bowl and the NCAA Tournament combined! More than one $Billion wagered worldwide! Watched in more than 800 million homes worldwide in 356 countries in three galaxies! Sport with the most openly phallic trophy in the history of the world! Just stop! At the risk of having the comment box overloaded with negative flak. There are a …

To the Class of 2014

Kim Hastings Humor

Governor Kitzhaber, President Gottfredson, honored guests, graduates and family members. On this graduation day we gather to celebrate the University of Oregon Class of 2014. We look forward to great things and we look back on the time in your life that you may well remember as the best time you ever had … especially six months from today when …