Hello, Ducks! This Saturday the Utah Utes come to Autzen Stadium in the gloaming to take on our Ducks. A lot of questions will be answered by the time Sunday morning rolls around. One question we believe will be answered is one posed by the Utes. Just how long is the field, anyway?
Sure we have some questions. We wonder about the defense. We wonder about the franchise’s finger. But this week, FishDuck.com decided to go a different direction.
We believe Duck fans are among the smartest in the nation. The very fact you read The Great and Powerful Fish shows a level of intelligence far surpassing the normal invertebrates. So this is your chance to prove it . . .
I told you people. Things are different around here. Tough times.
1. What is That Stench Permeating Salt Lake City?
a) The brine from all the salt in the lake.
b) The decaying hopes of a fan base who believed they could compete in the Pac-12.
c) Feet
2. The Ducks are Playing Utah This Week. They are Known as the Utah ____
a) Utes
b) Cougars
c) Little Big Loves
3. The Mountains East of Salt Lake City are Called ___ ____ ___
a) The Wasatch Range.
b) Little Big Mounds.
c) Hella Ugly Hills.
4. Utah is Known as the Beehive State. Why?
a) Bees are industrious and hard-working.
b) Astronaut Buzz Aldrin was raised in Provo.
c) High school seniors who choose UU later feel stung by the decision.
5. Utah Has Two National Recreation Areas. Name Them.
a) Flaming Gorge and Glen Canyon
b) Engorged Hemorrhoid and Glen Campbell
c) Gorgeous George and Canonero II
6. The State of Utah is Bordered By Six Other States. Name Them.
a) New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, Idaho, Wyoming and Colorado
b) Nebraska, South Dakota, South California, Kansas, Iowa and Texas
c) Confusion, Loneliness, Despair, Hopelessness, Rage, and Puerto Rico
Go Ducks! Unleash the Beast!
Kim Hastings
Tacoma, Washington
Top photo by blackberrybeads.com
Related Articles:
Kim Hastings is a 1984 graduate of Northwest Christian College. He cut his journalistic teeth as sports editor of a paper in his home town of Fortuna, CA, and, later as a columnist for the Longview Daily News in Longview, WA.
He saw his first Oregon game in 1977 and never missed a home game from 1981 until a bout with pneumonia cut his streak short in 1997. He was one of the proud 3200 on a bitterly cold night in Shreveport, Louisiana in 1989 for the Independence Bowl, and continues to be big supporter of Oregon sports. He is an active participant on the various Oregon Ducks messageboards as “TacomaDuck.”