On the UW Dawg Pound website, they say that it will be hard for Husky fans to let go of their hate for Oregon this week. I’ve been pondering that slap in the face to us and Our Beloved Ducks, and maybe it is time to turn the other cheek–a misdirection, as we deliver a hard right cross to the …

“It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of foolishness, it was the age of foolishness; it was the season of darkness, it was the season of darkness.” It was 2016, and Colorado had just stampeded Our Beloved Ducks by a score of 41-38. All the tragic details are in the book …

To our eternal shame and sorrow, Justin Wilcox said “no” when offered the head coaching job of Our Beloved Ducks. Joey Harrington, on behalf of more than a dozen other former Ducks players, pleaded to AD Rob Mullens in a letter: “There is a candidate out there who embodies both the connection to the past and the skill to get …

By now, if you’re a regular reader of these half-crazed rants–okay, okay, totally crazed, out-and-out rampages–you are well aware that I’m not an advocate of “Northwest nice.” But that’s only when it comes to things like love and war. And as we all know, football may as well be war, with terminology like “blitz,” “aerial attack,” “defensive line,” “long bomb,” …

So they’re scumbagging their way to the Big Ten–those two toxic Angelenos, the University of Scuzzy Criminals and the University of Continuously Losing Again. Never mind that 6-0 record, UCLA is an overrated gang of losers. The question before us is: what are those raunchy schools off to? Yes, we know where the Big Ten schools are–and it’s some pretty …

What do you call players and fans of the football team at Leland Stanford Junior University? Cardinals? No, do not do that, or you’ll make Stanford people very angry on social media. “We’re not Cardinals!” they will tweet in your face, maybe even going into lunatic all-caps mode: “WE ARE THE CARDINAL!” Whatever. Personally, I don’t think that anyone in …

Two weeks ago, I made the inference that Eastern Washington was hell. It was a perfectly logical assumption–the EW Eagles play football on a field that they themselves call “The Inferno,” and who am I to disagree with the very people who have consigned themselves to the netherworld? However, upon further review, I now have a more realistic outlook. It’s …

BYU–alternately known as Boring You Unmercifully–arrives as a wooden and waxen opponent this weekend for Our Beloved Ducks, and no, we don’t want them around any more than you want your dimwitted Aunt Mildred sitting at your Thanksgiving table two months from now. Somehow, and there must be fowl play involved, these lugubrious oafs from Utah got added to our …

The Eastern Washington Eagles swoop in today, creating trepidation and real concern for Duck fans flocking to Autzen Stadium: “Did I pack the paper plates for the tailgate?” “Is there enough ice for the IPA?” “Where’s the Weber grill?” I know the answer to that last one–it’s in the garage under all that junk that’s been thrown on top of …

Oh, the anticipation! It’s just a few hours before it all begins–the dashing, the smashing, the brutal bashing. But enough talk about those screwy malls and commencing holiday shopping. We’ve got football today–Georgia, at last. Our Beloved Ducks have flown across the continent to not-so-neutral Neutral City, led by Coach Dan Lanning, Our Beloved Savior of the Gridiron Who Can …