FishDuck’s Super Bowl Drinking Game

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive 1 Comment

*Disclaimer. This column, like all of my columns, is made in jest. (Except the stuff about the Beavers and Huskies. I mean all of that.) In this week’s installment, I suggest engaging in some activities that would KILL YOU DEAD if you actually did them. Please don’t!* Super Bowl XLIX will be played tomorrow. That’s a good thing, because it means Super Bowl …

FishDuck Weighs in on “Deflate-Gate”

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The New England Patriots are dirty rotten cheaters. There, we weighed in. But I (reluctantly) want them to win the Super Bowl because Pete Carroll is both Pete and Carroll. This sets up an emotional dichotomy. I like to root for the good guy. This Super Bowl is one good guy short. This isn’t the first time I’ve been on …

The Five Stages of FishDuck Grief

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I am an old man. As an old man, I have the right, nay the responsibility, to take losses hard. After all, there are fewer victories in my future than in the future of, for example, my editor. This discussion of my age explains, in part, my reaction to our loss against Ohio State the other night. I can only …

Breaking News! FishDuck Discovers Unsavory Facts About Ohio

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive 1 Comment

Ladies and gentlemen, the facts, simply stated, are these: If the Ducks win the National Championship Game next week I can … Having been a Duck fan since the late 70’s … … and living among mangy Huskies since 1991 … … by golly, I deserve a national championship! But it isn’t enough that I deserve a Natty and that you …

Remembering the Last Rose Bowl

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Good morning, Ducks! Thursday we will play Florida State in the 2015 Rose Bowl. Let us take a ride in the way back machine and try to assimilate the karma from the last time we played in the Granddaddy! Through the magic of the DVR, I was able to blog my calm and rational thoughts. January 2, 2012 — 1:34 …

Merry Christmas from a Place Where Fish Fly South for the Rose Bowl

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I am supposed to be funny. Sometimes that comes to me in question form: “Aren’t you supposed to be funny?” But on this, the day of the greatest birth mankind has ever known, I want to take a break from being the most humorous writer you have ever known. This is a day for gifts. There are all kinds of …

Overheard at the Heisman Award Ceremony

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive 7 Comments

Congratulations to Marcus Mariota! He’s the first Heisman winner from the state of Oregon in the Era of Competition. (Jerry Stovall finished second to OSU’s Terry Baker in 1962. Stovall rushed for 368 yards … all season.) FishDuck.com would like to offer our sincere congratulations. Mr. Mariota, sir, if there is anything we can do for you, anything at all, don’t hesitate to …

FishDuck.com Looks at the Four Schools in the College Football Playoffs

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive 6 Comments

Good morning, Ducks! My boss at FishDuck.com likes to say, “What a great time to be writing about our beloved Ducks.” We usually nod in agreement, because disagreeing with our boss doesn’t always end so well. But I’ll be darned if he isn’t right this time. Over the last few years the Ducks have enjoyed unparalleled success. We’re going to welcome the …

Double Secret Ploys to Beat Arizona

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Hello, Ducks! You neither need nor want me to remind you of some recent history. Our Ducks, more talented by half than our opponent, have gotten waxed twice in a row by the Arizona Wildcats. When Duck fans heard the news that the Conference Championship Game was to be played against Arizona, one of two responses occurred. But I have …

A FishDuck.com Thanksgiving List

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Happy Thanksgiving, Ducks! I hope your morning pastries were fresh, your cheese and olive tray is crisp, your bird is moist and your pie is pumpkin (and vice versa). This is a day to give thanks. My life is rich and I hope yours is as well. I have a lovely wife, a nice car, an editor who thinks I’m …

Ducks and Buffs: More Similar Than You Might Think

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The Ducks host the Colorado Buffaloes this weekend, as the regular season begins to wind to a conclusion. While Oregon is a significant favorite, FishDuck.com‘s crack research department has made some interesting discoveries. The Buffaloes and the Ducks are pretty similar. The Ducks have a powerful defensive front. Swarming to the quarterback, engulfing rushers, swatting passes down at the line of …

College Football Playoff Committee Says Ducks Need Convincing Bye Week

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive 1 Comment

It is a much-needed bye week for your Oregon Ducks as they catch their breath after the Utah game. Oregon defeated the Utes handily, and without any bizarre or memorable plays. Except for the one I can’t watch enough. Now would be the time to ponder the playoffs, and see what may be ahead for the Ducks as they approach …