Breaking News! FishDuck Discovers Unsavory Facts About Ohio

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

Ladies and gentlemen, the facts, simply stated, are these: If the Ducks win the National Championship Game next week I can … Having been a Duck fan since the late 70’s … … and living among mangy Huskies since 1991 … … by golly, I deserve a national championship! But it isn’t enough that I deserve a Natty and that you …

Merry Christmas from a Place Where Fish Fly South for the Rose Bowl

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

I am supposed to be funny. Sometimes that comes to me in question form: “Aren’t you supposed to be funny?” But on this, the day of the greatest birth mankind has ever known, I want to take a break from being the most humorous writer you have ever known. This is a day for gifts. There are all kinds of …

Overheard at the Heisman Award Ceremony

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

Congratulations to Marcus Mariota! He’s the first Heisman winner from the state of Oregon in the Era of Competition. (Jerry Stovall finished second to OSU’s Terry Baker in 1962. Stovall rushed for 368 yards … all season.) FishDuck.com would like to offer our sincere congratulations. Mr. Mariota, sir, if there is anything we can do for you, anything at all, don’t hesitate to …

FishDuck.com Looks at the Four Schools in the College Football Playoffs

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

Good morning, Ducks! My boss at FishDuck.com likes to say, “What a great time to be writing about our beloved Ducks.” We usually nod in agreement, because disagreeing with our boss doesn’t always end so well. But I’ll be darned if he isn’t right this time. Over the last few years the Ducks have enjoyed unparalleled success. We’re going to welcome the …

Double Secret Ploys to Beat Arizona

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

Hello, Ducks! You neither need nor want me to remind you of some recent history. Our Ducks, more talented by half than our opponent, have gotten waxed twice in a row by the Arizona Wildcats. When Duck fans heard the news that the Conference Championship Game was to be played against Arizona, one of two responses occurred. But I have …

College Football Playoff Committee Says Ducks Need Convincing Bye Week

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

It is a much-needed bye week for your Oregon Ducks as they catch their breath after the Utah game. Oregon defeated the Utes handily, and without any bizarre or memorable plays. Except for the one I can’t watch enough. Now would be the time to ponder the playoffs, and see what may be ahead for the Ducks as they approach …

Bizarre, Thy Name is Utah

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

The Ducks travel to Utah this week for a key Pac-12 match-up with the Runnin’ Utes. FishDuck.com has a great deal of respect for what Utah has accomplished since they arrived in the Pac-12. After all, their 12-20 conference record since joining the Pac-12 is exceeded only by, well, almost everyone … but good try anyway! FishDuck.com thought it would be nice to …

The Stanford You Never Knew

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

The Stanford Cardinal come to Autzen Stadium this week, in search of their third consecutive victory over our Oregon Ducks. FishDuck.com/whatdoesittaketogetintheSECWest is, of course, not willing to take that lying down. So we dug up some interesting information. Some of it is true. Some of it is rumors. Some of it was dreamed by Charles Fischer when he got into …

Fun Facts About California

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

The Oregon Ducks take their two-game winning streak to Santa Clara this week, in search of another victory over the Golden Bears of the University of California. We at FishDuck.com/soinlovewithmariotawemightjustpop like to take a slightly different look at the team, and the state that we are about to encounter. Everyone knows that Governor Tom McCall once invited Californians to spend to their …

The Forced Secession of the State of Washington

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

On Dec. 20, 1860, South Carolina, enraged by the election of Abraham Lincoln and the threat he represented to the slavers’ way of life, seceded from the Union. The Union and Confederacy fought a four-year battle to pin the country together. With the help of superior manpower and resources (not to mention the might of right), the Union won the …

What I Am Willing to Do to Turn This Thing Around

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

Remember when teams used to fear us? Well those days are pretty much behind us. There are those who would suggest we would be better off remembering the olden days, when the Civil War was the be-all and end-all after a season of getting mauled by our betters. NO! NEIN! NYET!いいえ!Walang! I’m not willing to go there just yet. So, …