Football belongs in the Arizona Territory like beach volleyball belongs in North Dakota. Wipe away that put-on scowl. You know I’m right. And no, that Martian landscape that you inhabit doesn’t qualify as a state. Take away air conditioning and Arizona devolves 200 years to where the only living things are saguaros and scorpions. Okay, okay, and Diamondbacks. I didn’t …
Is college football going down the drain? From the looks of today’s 11 flushable games, it well could be, if only temporarily. This is officially Week 0, presumably because of the number of zeroes that are playing. (And yes, that includes you, Florida Atlantic, and ex-Oregon coach Willie What’s-His-Name.) If it’s pomp, pageantry, and high drama you seek, you’re going …
May rabies ravage the Dawgs and anthrax annihilate the Aggies! It’s not as if Oregon‘s Athletic Directors haven’t made a valiant effort. The Ducks once had home engagements scheduled with the Georgia Bull Dogs and the Texas A&M Aggies, only to be left at the altar by that castrated, chicken whip, canine University of Georgia, as well as being dumped …
Well, it looks like FishDuck.com is going away, at least in its current high content, fast moving iteration. That being the case I wanted to take this opportunity to say thank you and farewell to all who have made this journey so enjoyable. To the schools at whose expense I have plowed the most fertile ground. Then to the FishDuck folks themselves. …
10:30 a.m. is an important time at FishDuck.com headquarters in Compton. That’s when the mail arrives. While electronic media is responsible for some of the feedback we get from readers, some folks prefer the old ways. They put pen to paper and write to us. Once a year I like to share some of the mail I get from readers and answer them …
“Entitled.” Some people use it a weapon when discussing fan behavior. Sort of a “drop-the-mic and declare victory” moment. Critical of the defense? “Oh, you’re entitled.” Critical of the coaching? “You should lose your entitlement attitude.” Disappointed over a season seemingly topping out with a minor pre-New Year’s Day Bowl? “You must be” — *fill in the blank* — “entitled, …
Good morning, Duck fans! We thought we would take this opportunity to let you behind the curtain of FishDuck.com. Many of you have asked, “How does FishDuck.com do it? You guys are always so right on! It’s uncanny.” We arrive at our conclusions through research behind the numbers. All designed to provide you with the tools you need to be …
The Arizona State Sun Devils host the Ducks tomorrow with little on the line for ASU. They have already secured a record which may remain unbroken forever. The Sun Devils have lost at least three games every year since at least 1998. The record probably goes back further than ’98. FishDuck.com/psychologistsinoursparetime asked me to examine the persistent mediocrity extant in Tempe. …
Welcome to the most relieved website on Earth. Just when it appeared the Ducks’ domination of the Huskies might come to an end, Washington turned to its hurry-up offense and scored in just under a Millenia. This week, Oregon takes a much-deserved breather from Pac-12 play. FishDuck.com decided to take a look around the conference to see what we should watch elsewhere in the …
“We compete against ourselves.” “We play them one game at a time.” “Our opponents are faceless.” These are all axioms you have heard from football coaches from Pee Wee ball to the NFL. They are ways of saying no one opponent is any more important than any other opponent. You may have heard people say that about the Ducks and …
Hello, Ducks. Well, we have hinted about it in weeks past. Now it’s time to come clean. The Golden Era of FishDuck.com All gone. We have fallen on hard times. Road trips which were a few hours in the company jet are different now. It has gotten bad enough that I need to take on a second job. But what should …
Good morning, Duck fans. It is good to see you. I trust you have all had a pleasant and prosperous week. I’m a grown man, with a wife, kids, friends and much to anticipate. On a related note, a record number of people are getting hurt in their homes by falling televisions. But onward we forge. Boats beating against the tide, …