Mom Deserves More Than a Card, Bucko!And if she doesn’t it’s probably our fault anyway. You see, Moms all pretty much start out the same way, full of hopes and dreams for their little bundle of baby powder-smelling wonderfulness. When we were born they counted our fingers and toes so many times …
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NCAA Probe CompleteCSI FishDuck: NCAA Probe Files – Eugene In this week’s episode, the NCAA Probe is complete, and about time too. The NCAA investigation of the Oregon program has caused no end of worry and fret among Duck fans around the world. Finally the probe is …
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You Can’t Get There From HereOnce in a while something happens to remind me that, in the grand scheme of things, my wife and I haven’t been together all that long. Case in point, the other night. She came home from work . As she clicked the car lock button …
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Mad Men Meet Spring FootballIt’s all about the marketing, baby. NASCAR interviewees could tell us that their car was fine. Instead they say, “The Motorcraft, M&M’s, Northern Ultra Chevy was purring like a kitten.” It’s not only the let’s-turn-left crowd, though. Just this week the NBA floated the (awful) …
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The Tax Man BlowethI can’t be expected to be funny today. I’m working under a great deal of stress. This is the weekend that makes strong men cower and weak men crumble. Monday is tax day. Sure, I could have done my taxes earlier, but I had to …
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Rabbits Don’t Lay Eggs, Y’all.For much of the world, Easter is the holiest day of the year. That said, there is no day on the calender more filled with off-topic nonsense than that which will occur tomorrow. First there is the stressful activity known as the Easter Egg Hunt. …
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I’m Rich!!!At least, I soon will be. The MegaMillions drawing is tonight and I bought a ticket for it. It’s almost in the bag that I will be the big winner because I haven’t before. That means I’m due. All that’s left while I wait for …
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I Come Not to Bury the Huskies, But to Praise ThemI am a new man. No longer the man who averts his eyes when seeing opposing stadia for fear of creating a road rage pileup. No longer the half-crazed Duck fan, gone livid by the sight of a bumper sticker that isn’t Duck in origin …
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Have You Seen My Snake?And a good day to you, lads and lassies, on the feast day of St. Patrick! Kermit the Frog became a wealthy sock when he declared, in scratchy melody, “It Ain’t Easy Being Green.” Silly frog. Not only is it easy being green, it’s downright …
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And If Elected, I Solemnenomely… Somnolently… Sominex… PromiseSomeone wiser than me once said, about Leap Year, “Why, oh why, do they have to put the extra day in a Presidential Election year? Do we really need to have the extra day to be told what we want to hear by people from …
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